I'm not going back to India.
It is a bit hard for me to write about this topic because it can easily lead to misinterpretations.
However, one of the advantages (and disadvantages) of having a personal blog is that it gives me a space to talk about the things that happen to me. I have always tried to know the limits between the things I want to share and those which I wish to keep private. That is why today, I have decided to talk about the reasons that led me to come back and I would like (although I certainly don't expect) for you to take this post for what it is: the result of my experience.
Back in November I decided to come back from India.
My original plan was to spend two years there in which I would be attending MUWCI and traveling around the country.
To be honest, the first days that I spent in my new school were pure bliss. Never have I been more amazed than when I went up Internet Hill for the very first time. Never have I felt more included in a group than with my latinos. Never have I made a quicker connection to someone, than with my roomies.
Every time I went out of my house with muddy feet, rain falling all around me, the trees shining bright and green...I felt like the luckiest girl on Earth. Every time I went on hikes alone and ended up a bit lost, and each time I looked out my window and the sun was hiding behind the hills, I felt truly grateful for having the opportunity to be there.
Time went by and my unlimited happiness turned into something ordinary. The lights of my excitement were now dim.
I don't want to give too many details, but I do want something to be crystal clear: I did not return because I had a problem with India.
India is a magical place and honestly, there are a million stereotypes that have got to die. India is a country in progress, full of people that are nice and brilliant. Not all of the country is as spiritual as we seem to think on this side of the world, and even though Gandhi's head is printed on the rupees, I have heard many say that there are many other men who deserve as much recognition.
I came back because my school is not what I expected.
Notoriously, some of my classes were exceptional and have opened my eyes to many new perspectives. Living in MUWCI has left me with a lot to think and reflect and learn. However, I was there for a different experience and I couldn't find it. In many ways, I felt like there were things missing. My school was not what I had expected or what I had wanted.
When I think of my High School days here in Mexico, I usually remember the times in which I insisted I was going to pursue whatever made me happy. While I was in India and I felt an obligation to stay because I had made a commitment to myself, my parents and the association, I couldn't help but think about those words, every time. I would be one big hypocrite if I suddenly decided to stay for fear of what may happen next. Hence, after having thought it through, I decided to keep on pursuing the things that I truly want to do. Even if those things are not in India.
I plan to go back soon and visit the places I didn't go to this time. I have many new friends to visit now, too. India won't get rid of me that easily.
The blog will go on, of course...and I promise not to stop writing for such long periods like I did this month. But, just in case you want to read more about India, I happen to know this smart Colombian dude (who just happens to be one of my dearest friends) who writes about his adventures in India here. He has traveled a lot, so trust me when I say he knows what he's talking about.
Do I have any more plans? Yes. Lots, as usual! There are a couple of trips in my near future which I am really excited about. I will be talking about them in a few weeks.
At the beginning of the year, I asked 2015 to grant me the knack of knowing when to stop. Twenty days later I can safely say that moment is not now. So, just like I wrote on the very first post of this blog:
I'm lost.
But, you know what?
It feels great to be lost in the right direction.
